Feelings
by Shanna's LilSis
Summary: My first fan fic (SJ)
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic so please be nice.  
  
"Hey Carter, wait up!" Colonel Jack O'Neil yelled after his 2IC as he went running after her as she made a quick exit from his office.  
  
Major Samantha Carter though hearing her superior officer, and friends call, sped her pace up until she found the comfort of the woman's locker room, quickly checking that no-one was inside she shut the door and locked it. Thinking she had finally found a place where she would not have to face the man who she had EVERY intention of not seeing again until they were back from the two weeks of downtime they had been given, rested her head back slowly against the door and slid herself down to the ground, and resting her head in her arms began to cry.  
  
The conversation that had just take place ran through her mind as she tried to control the tears.  
  
~~  
  
There was a knock at the door which made Jack jump, he had been so engrossed in his game boy he had almost forgotten where he was. He quickly chucked his game boy in his draw and pick up a pen, hoping whoever it was would believe he was doing the mound of paperwork that had built up on his desk in the two days he had been off world on PJ7- something.  
  
"Yea" Jack said.  
  
"Sir, may I have a word?" A nervous Sam said as she opened his door. She had been stood outside for the passed couple minutes trying to psych herself up to go inside and have the conversation she had been dreading, even though she new she had to start it before she went mad, she was still not prepared for it.  
  
When she opened the door and saw him working her nerves subsided a little he had obviously been goofing off, probably playing a game on his game boy, a small smile spread on face as she thought how reliable the colonel was to never be doing his paperwork.  
  
Jack glimpsing that it was Sam quickly dropped his pretence.  
  
"Hey Carter, wanna let me in on the joke?"  
  
"Sorry sir" she said closing the door knowing how much he didn't like giggling  
  
"I'm not disturbing you am I?"  
  
"Nah, I thought you were Hammond, he wants all of this," gesturing to the pile of papers on his desk, "done by the end of the day, I could do with a distraction." He said smiling, secretly pleased to see her, he hadn't seen her in a couple of hours and he was starting to get with drawl symptoms.  
  
"What can I do for you Carter?"  
  
Taking a deep breath Sam prepared for the conversation that she was about to begin, which she already new would end badly, she just had a feeling deep down that he would not give her the answer she wanted. Plucking up the courage she began.  
  
"Well sir, you see .. Um. can I sit down sir? She finished poorly.  
  
"Yea, pull up a chair."  
  
"Thank you sir" She sat thinking of how to say what she had to say  
  
Jack knowing Sam could tell she hadn't just come for a friendly chat, worried just where this was going, looked in to her gorgeous blue eyes and could see that she had no idea how to start whatever it was she had come here to say, decided it would be best to give her the jolt she always needed.  
  
"Carter, spit it out would you."  
  
"Yes sir," She said glad of the excuse to get straight to the point.  
  
"Well you see sir, I've been having these, feeling sir."  
  
Jack now interested with the conversation sat up, and mildly thought, no hoped, that the answer to the next question would be him.  
  
"Feelings, Carter, for whom? Or what?" He asked with his fingers crossed under the table.  
  
"You sir" Sam said looking quickly at the floor, not able to continue looking in to his chocolate brown eyes.  
  
'YES' Jack thought to himself, even though he was happy, he knew that the next part of this discussion would have to come from him, and that made him nervous.  
  
"Sam"  
  
Shocked by hearing him call her by her name, Sam's eyes shot back up to meet his, and for some reason she had the strange sense that he was nervous about something.  
  
"Sam, I ...um...you see,"  
  
"Yes sir?"  
  
"Sam what I'm trying to say is well." He faltered he couldn't say 'I love you' to her not here, not on base, even though they all knew that the regs had been changed so that they could fraternise with each other and not get court marshalled. He just simple couldn't do it. In fact he hadn't been able to say it in the two weeks he had known about the reg changes. He wanted to say it away from every one else, over dinner but he hadn't quite gotten up the nerve to ask her. Now she was here, 'my big chance' and he couldn't do even that. So knowing full well that he needed to give her an answer knowing that she was waiting to hear that he had 'feelings' for her too he simple said.  
  
"Can we have this conversation later, I've got to get all this done in the next couple hours if I wanna get out of here by 1900?"  
  
"Sorry to have disturbed you." "Sir" With that she could feel the tears building up in her eyes she had to get out of there, she couldn't bear to let him see how much he had hurt her with that simple sentence.  
  
She got up and as quickly as possible, whilst also trying to keep calm, left his office as swiftly as possible. As soon as she had closed his door she ran.  
  
~~  
  
'Why, why did I go to see him? I knew he didn't have feelings for me I knew he must have moved on from the feelings he had for me. That was ages ago. So why do I still have feelings for him. Why did I put my self in to that position? A position where I could get myself hurt?  
  
Sam pondered on this completely forgetting that Jack had come running after her.  
  
~  
  
As soon as Sam had left his office Jack realised what that must have sounded like. 'Jack you complete bastard, here Sam has made the move you couldn't, she told you she still has feelings for you, which is what you, YOU wanted to hear, and you go and say something like that, you heartless git. No wonder she was in a rush to get outta here, she thinks you have no feelings for her.'  
  
"Bugga"  
  
with that Jack had run out of his office, forgetting all the overdue paperwork, and run after her.  
  
~~  
  
"Sam, open the door" Jack stood out side the locker room bashing on the door, he had finally been able to catch up to her to find she had locked him out. 'No surprise why' he told himself.  
  
Startled at the bashing on the door, and hearing his voice, made her come back to her senses. 'So much for thinking she had managed to find a place he wouldn't be able to find her'.  
  
"Go away Colonel. Sir" She managed to say as calmly as she could, not wanting him to know she was crying.  
  
"Carter open this door now. That's an order." Jack begged knowing it was the only way he was going to get in there.  
  
'Damn it!' wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, to try and subside damage the crying had done to her make up, Sam slowly got up and taking a deep breath, opened the door, only enough that he would not be able to walk in.  
  
"Yes sir, what can I do for you?" She said in her most military tone.  
  
Seeing that she had been crying made Jack realise the impact his dumbness had caused.  
  
"Carter we need to talk. I'm sorry for what that must have sounded like, I.."  
  
"Sir, there is no need to apologise, I interrupted you as you were trying to complete your paperwork. In future I will not trouble you with such insignificant matters."  
  
"Cart.Sam that's not what I meant. I just."  
  
"Sir there is no need to explain, I understood perfectly well, now if you will excuse me this is the woman's locker room and I was preparing myself to go home. I will see you in a fortnight. Sir"  
  
With that she quickly shut the door and headed to the bench to sit down, she was so angry with him she couldn't have stayed much longer talking as though nothing was wrong.  
  
Mean while Jack was still outside, stunned that she would not let him explain, to let him tell her that he didn't mean to say that, that he loves her very much. Stunned by the fact that his lack of confidence and pride made him hurt the woman he has loved for so long. He knew that he would not get through to her now. He knew he would have to let her calm down first. So slowly very slowly, he began to make his way to the comissionary maybe a strong cup of coffee would help him clear his mind so he would be able to get through to her when he next saw her.  
  
TBC  
  
A/N : Any suggestions where this goes? 


	2. Chapter 2

Jack having retrieved his cup off coffee sat down at his usual corner table. 'How am I going to get Carter to listen to me....'  
  
"O'Neill may I join you?" Teal'c asked as Jack had walked straight passed him in the corridor a few moments ago  
  
"What..? Oh yeah take a seat" jack said not realise who he was talking to.  
  
"Is something bothering you O'Neill?  
  
"Huh" Jack said still not paying attention.  
  
"Are you not well O'Neill?" Teal'c enquired.  
  
"I'm fine Teal'c, just things". Jack said as he poured a packet of sugar in to his mug.  
  
"May I be of assistance O'Neill?"  
  
"I had a misunderstanding with Carter, and I'm just trying to figure out how to fix it before she decides to never speak to me again."  
  
"Over what did such a disagreement take place that Major Carter would cease to speak with you?" Teal'c asked  
  
"She wanted to talk about something personal I asked if it could wait until later, before I realised what the conversation was about. She left with the impression that I never wanted to talk about it, but I do it's just the base is probably not the best place."  
  
"What matter did she wish to discuss?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"That doesn't matter. I just need to figure out how to fix it."  
  
"Is it not traditional for the Tau'ri to apologise to the ones they are in love with, with chocolate and flowers?"  
  
Jack looked at him bemused; he had been sat there trying to think of a way to apologise for the last ten minutes and he had just given him the perfect idea how to do just that.  
  
"I gotta go." Jack said as he quickly stood up and ran out of the commissary, leaving Teal'c sat there with his eyebrow raised at the strange scene he had just witnessed.  
  
~~  
  
Meanwhile Sam was sat with her head in her hands, trying her best to knock some sense back into herself.  
  
Finally realise there was nothing she could do to rid the situation from her mind; she decided to pack up and go home. 'Maybe a good soak in the bath and some well deserved chocolate will help me work out what to do.' She thought to herself as she got changed in to her civilian clothing.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Sam had quickly changed all the while thinking of the hot bubble bath that awaited her at home and the sweet taste of endless amounts of chocolate that she would allow herself to indulge in on this one occasion. She drew in a deep breath as she opened the locker room door, taking a moment to look around; she finally gave a great sigh of relief. She had been worried that Jack may have been sat outside waiting for her, and was relieved to see he had left.  
  
As she made her way to the elevator she made a mental note to stop by the market as Cassie had eaten her stash of chocolate when she last came round after her last fight with Dominic. Swiping her activation card she entered the elevator and pressed the button without consciously thinking about it as it was an action she repeated many times a day. Two floors later the doors opened and Sgt Siler stepped in.  
  
"Headed out ma'am?" But Sam wasn't paying attention. "Major Carter?"  
  
"What, sorry did you say something?"  
  
"Is everything alright ma'am?"  
  
"Just peachy Sgt." He got out at the next floor and Sam continued up until she had to change elevators and sign out before she could make her way to the surface.  
  
When finally making it to the surface, she headed to her Volvo, all the while trying to find her keys.  
  
Starting the engine Sam noticed that Jack's SUV was no longer parked in its usual spot. Without knowing why Sam felt a strange feeling curse through her, but she pushed the feeling aside, deciding she could deal with it later, right now all she wanted to do was get home as quickly as possible.  
  
~~  
  
Pulling up in front of the market, Sam made a mental note to also get some milk and bread as the stuff she had at home would probably be off by now.  
  
Grabbing a cart, Sam headed straight to the confectionary aisle. Deciding she would buy her favourites, she grabbed a handful of Hershey bar and placed them in her cart along with a couple handfuls of Hershey's kisses, she pushed the cart down the aisle to try and find what she was looking for. 'Damn it!' She thought as she saw they were out of her favourite, German chocolate cake, 'I was looking forward to that too', she grumbled.  
  
Quickly she found the bread and milk, and started to push the cart toward the checkout, as she was in the frozen food aisle she decided to treat her self to some Ben and Jerry's chocolate chocolate cookie ice-cream as they were out of the cake.  
  
Pulling up at the checkout, she unloaded her goods and waited to pay.  
  
"That's a lot of chocolate you got there Sam, is Cassie coming over again?"  
  
"Hey Nancy, nah Cassie isn't coming over, I've got the place to myself."  
  
"What's with all the choc then?"  
  
"I've had one of those days, and I decided to indulge a little."  
  
"So it's man trouble then; That'll be $30 please major" Nancy said giving Sam a smile.  
  
"You got it in one! Here you go." She gave a small laugh and handed over the correct money.  
  
"I'll see you next week Nance"  
  
"Yeah, bye Sam."  
  
Picking up her shopping Sam headed out to her car. Putting the stuff in the trunk, she put the cart back and got in.  
  
'Finally I can go home' she thought to herself as she pulled out the parking lot.  
  
TBC 


End file.
